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I don't know what to do. We are committed and we have been together a while. I cannot admit to snooping in his computer to find evidence of this but now that I know (and on this particular site you can see that he is logging in almost daily) do you think it's just to get his jollies online or does it sound like I have to worry about . I recently found out my Fiancee was still using on-line sex chat sites.I had been helping him email a company back about a job and had to go back into his emails to check a previous email from the company and saw lots of other emails, obviously from girls on sex chat sites. I had met my partner on a dating site about 4. Happened to one of my best friends. It happened to me—the guy was updating his profile with things we were doing together, as though he were doing them alone! It happened to a newly-married acquaintance. She found out that her now- ex-husband not only had a hidden profile on the site where they met, but several .

By Reyhan Harmanci Click here for original article. Last June, my morning routine was interrupted by a series of texts from a friend, showing a pair of screen shots that were at first incomprehensible. In one, under the headline "Better Singles, Better Dates," my boyfriend Patrick's smiling face hovered in the bottom row of a Brady Bunch-style grid of other men, as if it had been ripped from a personal account.

All the way on the left, in the second row, was mine. A small logo gave the name of the matchmaking service being advertised: Neither the images nor the site were immediately familiar to us. The pictures hadn't been taken from our social network profiles, nor had Patrick and I ever online-dated.

Of course, that's where my mind went first: Was my live-in boyfriend of five-plus years maintaining a double life filled with Internet honeys?

I Found My Bf On A Dating Website

But how would that work -- he doesn't even know how to send an instant message. Within a few moments, though, it dawned on me what I was looking at.

I Found My Bf On A Dating Website

Ina photographer friend, Jenny, had snapped some photos of us around the house for her portfolio. When click here shoot was over, we signed model release forms with the vague notion that she might offer the pictures to a stock photo agency. But we never thought anyone would actually buy them. At first, being an inadvertent star of an online dating ad campaign seemed hilarious, and I reveled in the joke, posting screenshots on Facebook and dominating the proverbial water cooler at my workplace, the Bay Citizen.

But the ads continued to run through the fall and winter, and gradually they came to haunt me. Looking at the New York Times website over the shoulder of my boss, I'd spy Patrick, seemingly the happiest, most single guy amid other happy, supposedly single guys. Acquaintances and friends sent concerned emails and Facebook messages. I was just looking at something on NY Mag and saw this ad -- isn't that your boyfriend in here?

Maybe just a look-alike? In any case, wanted to share Even more troubling was the notion that pictures of Patrick and me were floating around the ether, out of our grasp and susceptible to any insult or manipulation. For example, Jenny hadn't taken many solo shots of us. In order to slot our faces into separate grids of smiling men and women, the dating service may have had to snip a happy-together image in half. Is that even allowed? What else could a stock agency client do to my picture?

Some Internet research taught me that examples of unfortunate stock-photo use abound. One 9-year-old girl was featured on an anti-abortion billboard without her knowledge. In another case, a farmer sued Getty Images, among I Found My Bf On A Dating Website, after a picture of him holding a goose appeared on joke birthday cards.

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And in a case very similar to my own, a married woman sued Match. Were she and I victims of anything other than our own stupidity?

And if so, whom should I be suing -- and for how much dough? To begin answering these questions, I needed to know who, exactly, was selling click the following article image.

At this point, Patrick didn't care much about the ads, except to point out that he looked really, really good as I Found My Bf On A Dating Website single guy. When the photo was taken, it was not intended to be a stock photo -- Jenny just wanted some fresh images of couples to add to her online portfolio, as she often works as a wedding photographer.

But a few weeks after we spent a pleasant half hour or so making goofy poses in our living room and backyard, Jenny sent an email asking if we would sign model releases because the stock agency she works with had notified her that it was in the market for some "trendy couples. Every month or so, she'll get an email saying there's demand for "kid athletes and their moms" or "grandparents with grandkids.

If Patrick and I had any doubts about this, I don't remember discussing them. We signed the contracts without reading them. No printed copies seem to exist, but I did find the attachment hanging in the far reaches of my Gmail account, filled with phrases like "I hereby irrevocably grant" the photographer and Corbis "the unrestricted right to use my appearance, form, likeness and voice … whether now or hereafter devised, throughout I Found My Bf On A Dating Website world, in perpetuity.

To help with my investigation, Jenny pointed me to the website of Corbis, the huge stock company that owned Veer, her particular agency.

I spent the next hour or so wading through thousands of photos, trying to find the picture of me that had turned up online and worried my friends.

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What sort of label or caption would my picture get, and how much would I cost? Eventually I found a photo of me and Patrick, trendily holding hands in the street. The caption read, "Trendy couple holding hands in the street.

You should find out why he is doing this. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. But how would that work -- he doesn't even know how to send an instant message.

But this wasn't the image that HowAboutWe had used for its campaign. No, that was "Couple laughing," another of the eight Reyhan-and-Patrick photos available on the site. The mix of fascination and embarrassment that had defined the experience for me thus far deepened as I scrolled through them: In addition to a title, every image had keywords. For "Couple laughing" these read like found poetry: OK, I'd found the pictures online.

But Jenny couldn't tell me who else might have bought our pictures. She gets a statement when her images click to see more, but these take the form of an incomprehensible jumble of letters and numbers. Even for a photographer, stock images can be a kind of black hole. Having tapped Jenny for the meager information she could provide, my next step was to contact the stock agency itself.

It was an unproductive and apparently unusual event. Thad Westhusing, vice president of Veer, had no information to share with me, though he did inform me that he rarely hears from models. I was still confused about the terms of use for the eight photos of me and Patrick.

When Veer sells pictures to a client, can that client alter them at will?

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My biggest fear remained some kind of outrageous Photoshopping, maybe along the lines of what happened to a man in New York, who cried when he saw that his leg had been digitally chopped off for a billboard about the dangers of diabetes. It was hard to pin down Westhusing on the rules governing stock images. There are many different contracts available to photographers, he said, and each has different terms.

In general, though, clients have a lot of leeway to alter the images, as long as long as the manipulations are not "libelous.

According to Simon Frankel, a copyright lawyer in San Francisco, the legal language in my model release form did not bode well for future litigation. He could not recall any court cases deciding in favor of a model who had signed away her rights as unambiguously as I had. I tried another lawyer, Carolyn E.

Wright, who maintains a website devoted to photo-law issues. She told me the same thing as Frankel, with an added dose of condescension. Now I was feeling queasy and confused. Jenny had done her best to make us look happy and shiny, but I am I Found My Bf On A Dating Website unphotogenic as a rule eyes closed, chin-forward; Tyra has taught me nothing. How could this be happening to me, of all people? When I expressed my wonderment about being chosen as an online dating model to Brian Schechter, a co-founder of HowAboutWe, he laughed.

HowAboutWe began putting together its national campaign last year. While Schechter didn't remember choosing the exact images for my particular ad, he said I Found My Bf On A Dating Website faces were a mix of actual HowAboutWe members and stock images, with the goal of showing attractive, but approachable, people. Just as I was feeling good about my industry-approved attractive approachability, Schechter set me straight. Click-throughs and conversion rates for my ads and Patrick's were low -- low enough for the company to start phasing them out.

It turned out we weren't that approachable, and it wasn't just us -- the whole campaign was getting pulled. When I told Patrick the good news -- that the ads were going away -- he wasn't very excited. The HowAboutWe campaign was fairly harmless and mostly funny, but after looking deeper into the stock-photo industry, I'd realized that worse things could happen. Our faces might be conscripted for any purpose, to sell almost any product, in any medium, with any modification, for a duration described by my release as "perpetuity.

By Tayo Chub Dating Tj Chaser probably won't even know the next time our images get bought. This is both disturbing and common: In talks with professional photographers, I learned that even famous photos are hard to protect with copyright claims.

We live in a time when stock photos function like the visual equivalent of Muzak -- ubiquitous and invisible, easy to find and impossible to remember.

The issue now is figuring out how and in what capacity. But when those unique dating situations suddenly become your present reality, you still feel like a deer caught in headlights no matter how many books about polyamory or open relationships you may have read. But the ads continued to run through the fall and winter, and gradually they came to haunt me. Full Time Mum of 4.

As they spread, and as we acquire more and more devices on which to view them, it's tempting for an unwilling model to just throw up her hands. For now, I'm glad to know that if my boyfriend has to appear on another online dating ad, I might get to be right there with him, frozen in Internet amber as a "trendy couple holding hands. It might not be so amusing if Patrick and I ever were click break up.

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